You have to give it up to America’s food industry. They never fail to devise new ways to maximize the fat. Americans need to butter and sugar up everything. And as the late and great (how I miss him) comedian George Carlin once remarked, “Americans will eat anything especially if you dipped it in butter and served it with salsa.” And how true.

This is the nation that gave us the Corndog and Baconnaise (bacon-flavored mayonnaise) and the whole concept of fastfood. To their credit: recent years have seen many fastfood chains, especially McDonald’s, begin to offer healthy alternatives (salads, wraps, ect...). People want to eat healthier it seems and the chains have responded. But KFC did not get the memo apparently. Colonel Sander’s place believes that its mix of fired chicken sandwiches and potato wedges isn’t enough. I mean those sandwiches are served with fiber bread. It’s just an offense to fastfood culture!

And in an effort to top the fat-ass chart, KFC is getting rid of the bread in its new Double Down Chicken Sandwich:

This wrapped heart-attack is described as “meaty” be a shameless KFC spokesman. “Meaty”? It’s a death wish. Two chicken fillets with Swiss/pepper jack cheese, bacon (naturally) and “the Colonel’s sauce” which - as The Simpsons taught us - is nothing more than mayonnaise left out in the sun. KFC claims it is a little less than 600 calories (1/3 of a healthy daily intake), but one paper estimates that the actual calorie county is more around 1,200!

This sandwich is just cruel. It is a punishment to make someone eat it and probably a violation of some convention against torture. The Angry Arab has an idea as to who is worthy of such a meal, however:

“If I were the private chef of Abu Mazen, I would feed him this sandwich five times a day, but I would wrap it with beef and dip it in butter, and smudge it with lard.”