Do you know why we call Hummus “Hummus”? Because it is a Syrian delicacy from the Syrian town of Homs. Well, maybe not. But that makes a good story. But whatever the reason, Hummus is from Syrian lands.

Not the Hummus plate in question(see below)

Not Iraq, not Palestine, not Israel (although Israelis love it and some obnoxiously pretend it is an “Israeli thing”), not Jordan, and not even Lebanon.

But many Lebanese - whom are notorious in their delusional nationalism - like to proclaim Hummus as nothing less than “Phoenician” “glory” from the land of the Ceders (Lebanon has Ceders. Did you not hear?).

And those Lebanese are now trying to trademark Hummus as exclusively theirs. The European Union allows several EU nations to trademark national dishes or drinks. For instance, while any nation may sell champagne, in the EU market only France has the right to market it as such (No joke). Lebanon is trying to earn the right to be the only nation that may market Hummus in the EU market. Lebanese claim that Israeli firms are robbing them of millions from their unwarranted selling of Hummus. Lebanon should remember that Israel still occupies Lebanese land and violates the nation’s sovereignty weekly before they fight the “Hummus War”. But the Lebanese army is futile, so why not this war.

The Lebanese have filed an official petition which is pending. This whole thing is ridiculous. No nation should claim the sole right to sell and market a food. I am no fan of Israel, but if they want to sell Hummus: LET THEM!

And if any nation is going to have the right to market Hummus then let the dubious honor go to Syria instead of the collection of sects within a border known as Lubnan.

In an effort to secure their Hummus title, the Lebanese have taken to gimmicks:

“Lebanon will attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the largest servings of hummus and tabouleh as part of a campaign to claim ownership of the traditional dishes.”

A typo in the story listed the Hummus plate as 5800 sq KM. Maybe if the Lebanese are forced to walk through they’ll stop infighting for a few days. Or maybe then they’ll have Hummus to throw at one another.

Why doesn’t Lebanon trademark stupid gimmicks and vulgar nationalism?